Never mistake kindness for a weakness. Never allow people to walk on you because they can and will if you let them.
I've decided to share this story so that I can assert myself and regain control after allowing a person to walk on me. I will be honest. In the past I allowed a lot of people to walk on me because I was too busy trying to be friends with folks and too busy trying to keep the peace. Well, times have changed.
Back in 2010 a potential client contacted me via email. We conversed via email for about 2 weeks. Then she asked me to speak to me over the phone. I spent 2 hours talking to her and listening to her problems while offering advice. She told me she wanted to hire me to do work for her and I gave her my pricing. She told me she would mail me payment the next day. Two days later I received an email from her telling me that she decided to hire another worker. In the email she asked me if I would go ahead and do free work for her in conjunction with the work she was paying another worker.
I emailed her back asking her what made her change her mind. It was a fancy website. The woman changed her mind because of a fancy website owned by a Internet-Big-Name-With-No-Power online. She decided to hire this person's services and had already ordered it online. So I politely wished her well but told her that my free work is for people truly in need and if she has decided to hire a big-name-online and pay almost twice the amount I quoted her then she is not in need and hence would not get any free work from me. But I was polite about it.
So on March 30, 2012, this woman sends me an email. I did not remember her right away. Guess what? The woman is still having the same problem and none of the work this woman paid another big name online worker for was successful. Not only did it not work but she is now in a far worse position than she was before because that worker tricked her into purchasing more of their services. So guess what this woman was wanting from me? That's right. She wanted free work from me. I turned her down.
People you need to realize that workers either have the power or they don't. People are making their decisions based off fancy websites and bull shit "cult of personality". Don't be a dummy. Don't be suckered into crap that doesn't count. All kinds of crazy nonsense goes on online that should have no bearing with regard to your choice of hiring a worker.
So yes, I turned down this woman for help and I went above and beyond and told her never to email me again. Let me explain. I did not do this because I was angry at her. I did this because of her failure to understand that she was taken for a ride. Because guess what? After paying this online worker twice for unsuccessful work this woman still didn't have a bad word to say about this online worker. I'm sorry but if you are that oblivious and can't even comprehend that you've been had then I will not help you.
I'm a worker. I'm not your momma. I'm not your janitor or maid. I'm not your guru. I'm not here to clean up your mess caused by your bad choices. Don't be a dummy. Because I'm not going to let you walk on me and take advantage of me.