Saturday, October 12, 2013

The Art Of Seduction - Part 29 - The Down Low: Tips For Women

Warning! This blog entry may contain material some may find offensive. Read at your own risk.
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The Down Low, or DL, for those who have been comatose for the past 20 years or so, is when seemingly heterosexual men seek out anonymous gay sex with men. It's presented as if it's more of a black thing but I can assure you it's not.

DL men are usually not "straight". They just aren't. Straight men have to be seduced by a guy before they will do anything gay. DL men actively seek out gay sex. Some aren't "gay gay" and I'll explain those below.

Women, listen up. It's rampant. You need to be aware of the signs. I've been propositioned by so many masculine men, men who usually have wives or girlfriends. The strangest is probably the cop who pulled me over for speeding. I'm fumbling for my insurance and license only to be asked to step out of the car. I was like, "shit!", but then was told to go sit in the front of his car. Next thing I know he hops in and starts rubbing his thigh. I look down to see he has a boner and he's actually rubbing it through his pants. Definitely uncircumcised as the whole car smelled like his sex. His pupils were freaking huge! I just scooted over and just looked out the window and ignored him until he told me I could go. I've had other run-ins with cops but I definitely can't even begin to talk about them here. I can't be 100% sure but I'm guessing the cop was married and probably even had kids. He was on the DL and this was not the first time he hat attempted this. Of course all he wanted was a blow job and then would have probably let me go with a warning. Instead, I declined and I got a ticket. There were no words spoken and he probably did this on purpose so that if I were to ever complain not only would it be my word against his but there would be nothing I could say he said that would indicate he was trying to pressure me.  Of course he could also be just the type of DL man who can't bring himself to verbalize his desires. There's two types, the ones who can't verbalize and the ones who can.

So what are some of the signs of a DL man? Well, you can probably find some stupid list of signs online but most of them are pure nonsense. Here's what I think are some good signs that your man may be on the down low.

1.) No hint of any gayness at all, won't even joke around about being gay. Men who are the DL don't want to bring any attention to homosexuality. So if your guy will joke around about being gay, maybe even do a lisp and act a fay, then they are likely not to be on the DL.

2.) Do not have any gay friends and don't associate with any gay people.

3.) Homophobic

4.) Boring in bed. If they are more boring than vanilla in the sack then you might be worried. If you try to get them to be freaky and they just can not get freaky with you then it may mean they are the type of guy that can't get freaky with someone they love and seek out their freak with anonymous sex, bet it with men or women. Either way it's a bad thing.

Now there's also a motivating factor that women do, or should I say refuse to do that causes some men to stray into DL territory. When women refuse to say give head or perform anal play with men it may cause the man to stray.

Some guys on the DL aren't really gay or even bi (supposedly) but rather seek out actions their women will not perform, such as getting blow jobs. It is a very common belief that guys give better head than women do since they already know what feels good to a man. Lots of men are curious about getting head from a guy. There are gay guys out there who only have sex via giving head to straight guys. They don't expect anything in return. Then there's the DL guys who want anal play and are either too ashamed to tell this to their women or their women refuse. So they seek it out with men.

Men come up with a variety of reason why they can engage in gay behavior and not be "gay gay". For example, I've known body builders who wank to muscle magazines (or even gay porn), guys who have bragged about getting head from a certain guy, and guys who freely admit their desire for drag queens. In their heads they come up with all kinds of excuses how they can engage in sexual activity with other men and have it not effect their identity. It's just really strange. I mean, I've had military guys open up to me about wild romps with drag queens. I don't judge people but it's just really weird that people are so open to me about this stuff. One of the weirdest situations I was in was at a former job where a co-worker had confided in us guys that he planned on going all the way with his girlfriend that night, losing his virginity at the same time. Well, he was real nervous that night at work and some idiot decided it would be best if he give the guy some downers to take. The guy was loopy as fuck and was wigging out. We weren't close at all but he approached me while I was by myself and was mumbling something I couldn't understand. Honestly, he was acting schizophrenic but of course it was the pills. He finally said, "I would y'know". I was like, "would what?". He then said he would have sex with me. I just looked at him like, WTF? He then touched my hand and that's when I told him to just go home and sleep it off and not to even try having sex with his girlfriend as he's too nervous about it. I don't think he counts as a DL guy, just some really conflicted guy who only had the courage to proposition me while under the influence of drugs. Strange. However, he might be full blown DL by now for all I know.

I could relate many more stories but they are pretty much all the same. The only difference is if the DL guy is either a verbal or non-verbal (like the cop). The verbal ones will approach men and instigate things. The non-verbal ones will use body-language and other cues or will just take advantage of any guy who they pick up on is interested in sex.

Ladies, be on the look out. Your man may just might be a DL guy. When in doubt, listen to your intuition. You might actually be picking up on some truth.





10 comments:

  1. Doc,
    A associate told me about this in regards to craigslist. I went to the "men seeking men" category and discovered that so many of these men are young masculine men or middle age married men that are looking for oral sex or anal sex. It's clear that their wives have absolutely no clue. It's so sad. Everybody is running around in a state of denial.

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    1. Yes, it's quite rampant. I don't know if people are living in denial or are just oblivious to it.

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  2. How funny that the universe will lead me to this post. So, I just found out my FATHER is this type of man. Just... so many questions. Endless WTFs.

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  3. Until people accept that being gay is how you are born. Then men will continue to be on the downlow. Churches and certain community's must get it right. That its just who you are and it is okay.

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  4. I'm a girlfriend of a guy who is on the down low. I found out his secret suffice to say I know he is. What I have to say us this. Guys be truthful about who you are. I thought I was all this man ever wanted as he told me so. When I found out I'm not it really hurt me to think I was his everything and find out I'm not.

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  5. Tee, how did he react when you confronted him?

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  6. When my husband hang out with his friends and come home he rushes to the bathroom and before he sits he let's out and air fart...okay I understand seldom but notice these actions on a regular basis now...Is my husband gay/otdl?

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  7. My husband has a dl friend and says he tried to make a pass at him which is how he found out and says he told him that he doesn't get down that way but every since then I haven't felt comfortable..what should I do

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  8. My man has been on the "dl" since we started sating 6 years ago. I thought I knew how to be strong and supportive and open minded as I was in a lesbian relationship and lived in the community years before. Im outgoing and talked to him about it with total acceptance of any "gay" or really ANY sexual acts he might be into that he never had to lie or hide them ...because within reason I am down to fulfill his fantasies OR if thats not possible...I am down to be fully supportive of his needs being fulfilled another way-0any other way he needed-BECAUSE HE SHARED IT WIth ME , vocalized it, included me to the best of his ability etc etc etc. I am still that same supportive person today BUT HE IS EVIL. Every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. he spends every minute not actually working-he spends every minute on the internet seeking out, or parked on a campus, or what I call "cruising" hello? He refuses to acknowledge any of it to me. The opposite of the person I am. What im witnessing via Craigslist etc is a tupe of "DL" men that chat to eachother about not only fooling their girlfriends and wives...but the more heinous and horrendous suffering they put her through at home parked, is traded back and forth foreplay via chat. like its cool. MARRIED, str8, militARY TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. You cannot find more narcissistic psychopaths on the DL in one place... than u can on craiglsist today. What has happend to me? well. I have aged, been left waiting alone on every birthday, been left out of everything but weak missionary sex except for once a month if that. He is constantly and I mean constantly beating off somewhere chatting and attempting to hook up every free second he has. I am an extremely sexual person.. or I was. I didnt need to have sex with him per say- but I needed to have SEX. right? just as I am considerate of this being likely his or anyones needs. somehow he flipped me to being introverted and he did it with the lies the unnecessary lying. its the disrespectfulness he has no conscience about. whatever he says he is doing 30 minutes later you realize OOPS he did it again.. hes not there and you are parked while he is doing whatever he wants to WITHOUT YOU---and talking about it feels good feels right, BUT I cant talk about it to anyone! that would be outing him. I do everything sexually for him he allows me to. and its limited. Still his toys and trails are all over the place. but not for me to participate in. He is MR SUAVE' everyone loves him and I am the bad guy if there is a conflict. and I AM THE #1 BEARD of the YEAR. and now what? Well... Im gonna keep talking about it til it makes some kind of sense...or I get my closet space back---whichever comes first. hmmm. kudos to your blog site on this topic. pardon the typos--gigi

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  9. Dont be reading thru me to get to my man now hear? lol thats right

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