Sunday, April 2, 2017

Turning A Man Gay, Straight Men Who Look At Gay Porn, And Sex Between Straight Men

This blog entry was originally going to be a Q & A post but I had two people ask me about turning a man gay and sex between straight men that I thought I would focus on these two issues before. If you are a reader of my blog then you are probably already aware that I've already discussed about whether or not it's possible to turn a straight man gay. However, I will see if I can take a different approach at explaining this in hopes to correctly communicate this issue.

So I got an email from an older man in his 50s. He gave me permission to relate this in my blog entry as long as I didn't use his name. He has as an acquaintance a 26 year old neighbor whom he has grown close to. This younger man has confided in him that he felt a connection to this older man because he never really knew his father, as his father abandoned his mother before he was born. So this younger man viewed the older man as a father figure, someone he could ask for guidance. What complicates the matter is that the older man is gay but is masculine and the younger man does not yet know. On top of this the older man has fallen in love with the younger man. The younger man has a girlfriend of several years who is pressuring him to marry her. The older man inquired of me if I could do conjure worker to break them up and then work to turn the young man gay so that he would be with him in a full relationship. So is this possible?

The answer is an emphatic no. You can not turn a straight man gay anymore than you can turn a gay man straight. People are hard-wired with regard to their sexual preference. So no matter how many spells are performed this young man will never switch teams and become the life partner of this older man. Reality just doesn't work like that. I don't know what else to write to be able to express how impossible this is. It's not in the nature for a straight man to want to stop having sex with women and focus only on sex with men, let alone one particular man. It's not in the nature for a straight men to switch from heterosexual masturbation fantasies to homosexual fantasies. It's not in the nature of a straight man to be romantically committed to a homosexual man. If you attempt to perform or hire spell casters to achieve this then not only are you trying to swim upstream but in reality you are at the bottom of Niagara Falls trying to swim back up it. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. So any dreams of an openly gay relationship with a straight man will never manifest in reality and should remain solely in the realm of one's imagination.

Let me now turn to sexuality, and specifically male sexuality. I first need to stress two things to my readers. Male sexuality is actually quite complex and most men, perhaps the majority of men, lie about their sexual history and sexual desires.

Sexuality is a spectrum. On one end is 100% straight. On the other end is 100% gay. Only a very small minority of men exist at either end. The overwhelming majority of men fall somewhere in between the two, in the "bisexual zone". However, the majority of such men will say they are completely straight. They may actually believe they are telling the truth. They may belong to the opinion that same-sex desires do not count unless you actually perform the deed, or that repressing and ignoring one's past sexual experiences makes one be 100% straight. What they are really saying is that they prefer females as sex partners but they confuse that fact for being "100% heterosexual".

If you aren't familiar with the Kinsey scale of human sexuality then I would recommend you check out the following link:

You may also test yourself at the below link. Please answer truthfully. There's no need to lie as nobody will know your answer. I took the test and even though I haven't had sex with a man it said I'm a Kinsey 3, so go figure.

So the Kinsey scale goes like this:

0 - Exclusively heterosexual
1 - Predominately heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual (may have experimente one time or had one same-sex lover but the rest of the sex partners were of the opposite sex.)
2 - Predominately heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual (may have experimented more than one time or has had more than one same-sex lover, though lovers of the opposite sex still outnumber same-sex lovers.)
3 - Equally heterosexual and homosexual (true bisexuality, "fake bisexuality" is Kinsey 1, 2, 4, or 5, as all of these clearly have an actual preference)
4 - Predominately homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual (may have experimented more than once with the opposite sex or may have had 2 or more opposite sex lovers. However, same-sex lovers outnumber the opposite sex lovers.)
5 - Predominately homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual (meaning may have experimented with the opposite sex at least once or had one opposite sex lover.)
6 - Exclusively homosexual
X - Asexual

So based on the above, the overwhelming majority of men will be either a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5. Only a very small minority of men will be either a 0 or a 6. So why is this important to know? Because this implies that any man between 1-5 has had sexual interest in the same sex and thus is vulnerable to same-sex seduction.

You can not turn a straight man gay. It's never going to happen. However, a gay man can seduce and have sex with a straight man. It happens far more often than people may realize. (For this purpose view 0, 1, and 2 as "heterosexual", 3 as "bisexual", and 4, 5, and 6 as "homosexual".) So in the example above, the older man could potentially seduce the younger man but it would only be sex and not a full, romantic relationship.

On a different note, a woman I know approached me to help with her teenage son. She discovered that he was looking at gay porn on his computer. She knows that guys look at porn and she knows the teens are curious but she was concerned because she only found gay porn on his computer. She wanted me to find out if he was gay. I told her that she needs to give him room and time to figure himself out and that just because there wasn't any straight porn on the computer doesn't mean he's not straight. A man's porn viewing habits may not translate to any real-world desire. That's just the reality. Many straight men have viewed gay porn. I've caught multiple people in my life watching gay porn. I do not view any of them as being gay. Instead, I view porn as a fantasy world and I give people the freedom to watch whatever they chose without feeling the need to label them. As long as the porn is legal then the viewer shouldn't be judged. So I talked to the boy about how I know he looks at porn because all guys do. I never mentioned his mother at all and what she found. I just gave him pointers on when it is not acceptable to watch porn, such as in public, and how to cover his tracts after the fact. I told him I don't want a situation where his brothers and sisters turn on the computer and see porn because he didn't properly clean up. So is it normal for straight men to look at gay porn? -Yes. It is. Gay porn is forbidden, and thus holds a fascination. Looking at gay porn allows a form of experimentation without actually doing the deed.  Think of it like ice cream. Vanilla is fine. However, sometimes you may want chocolate, or strawberry. Every now and the you might crave something new and different. So think of gay porn as just a flavor, something to spice up one's fantasy life and not an actual indicator of behavior or real-world preference. Besides, I know plenty of females who watch gay porn, as in two men having sex. When I asked a female friend who admitted to watching gay porn why she did so her answer was, "because it's hot". So there you go.

Finally, I want to touch on straight men who want to have sex with other straight men. I know it sounds like a contradiction but it happens. These men are usually a 2 or 3 on the Kinsey scale. They may clearly be bisexual but they refuse such label and insist that they are straight. They usually have had more than one instance of same-sex experimentation in the past. Most of these men will stop same-sex dabbling by the time they get married. However, some continue on and they create convoluted excuses why such behavior is not cheating. These same-sex sexual encounters tend to be of the anonymous kind, using Craigslist and gay apps like Grindr or Scruff to meet other similarly interested men. These encounters are rarely to never romantic in nature. It's strictly sex and it's usually for just one hook-up. Sometimes the sex may be good and so the man keeps coming back for more sex but this does not usually result in any friendship between the pair. Eventually one will tire of the experience and will break it off. None of these men will leave their wives for men. If they are caught, most women will eventually forgive them and the marriage is usually not destroyed. Really only men on the 4, 5, or 6 on the Kinsey scale end up leaving their wives for other men because ultimately they are living a lie because their clear preference is for men, while 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale truly prefer women over men and have no issues breaking off or stopping same-sex sexual encounters.

Ultimately, it all boils down to the reason why you can't use magic to turn a straight man gay but can seduce him is because sex and love are two different things for men. Most straight men fall in love with women even though they may have sexual attraction for other men. Additionally, I would add that most straight men learn from simple life experience that romantic relationships with other straight men simply are doomed from the start. It's kinda hard for two assholes to learn to love each other.

For the curious: The majority of all same-sex sexual contact between men is usually mutual masturbation and/or oral sex. Among those that engage in anal sex, most who have sex with men prefer to dominate their women but be dominated by men. This is true for even the most rugged and manly of all straight men who enjoy sex with other straight men.

8 Honest Reasons Why Some Straight Men Enjoy Gay Sex

The Bro-Job: Why Straight Men Secretly Have Sex With Each Other

It's Just A Bro-Job. No Homo.

Looks Like A Lot Of Straight Dudes Are Watching Gay Porn, Science Says

Over A Fifth Of Straight Men Watch Gay Porn, Study Finds

Here is another sexuality scale called the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid. As with the test for the Kinsey scale, answer truthfully as nobody will know the results except for you. I took this test and scored a 2.4, which is roughly at the boundary between a 2 and a 3 on the Kinsey scale. The Klein test takes into account other factors such as which sex you prefer to socialize with, which sex you mostly fantasize about, and your ideal choice.

1 comment:

  1. I prefer men, and have always been sexually fluid, but what struck a chord with me was the older man who fell in love with the younger guy that really just needed a father figure. People need to accept reality and unconditionally love others and put their needs before themselves, especially for our youth.

    I have a lot of resentment towards older gay men because as a clueless young adult I was always objectified and molested even when I needed help from friends, advice, or a shoulder to cry on. I had to learn and make my spirit strong.

    Some straight men are curious, I have played with them too. A gay psychotherapist friend explained to me that a lot of men just want to experience a bond, a male energy, and confuse it with sexuality and sex. Women get to be close and cuddle, etc, and some men miss out on that innocent affection with each other. I feel that gay men need to be careful and mindful about their psyche and what diseases they can bring home to their girlfriends and wives. Everyone on both sides need to be safe.