Friday, May 26, 2017

Florida Water Warning!

So I'm lighting a lamp for a client and had rinsed my hands with Florida Water to cleanse them before starting. I struck a match and was lighting the wick when my entire right hand became engulfed with flames. It scared the shit out of me! Luckily, there was no burns as I quickly shook out the flames. Let this be a warning to readers. Anything with alcohol is flammable and can post a fire risk!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

2 Year Anniversary Of Weight Loss Surgery

I apologize for this break in blogging. I've been extremely busy with life stuff these past weeks. I hit another milestone as well, my two year anniversary of my weight loss surgery on May 13.

I am still completely shocked that a mere two years ago I was almost 400 lbs, had sleep apnea, borderline diabetes and high blood pressure, and had pretty much accepted that I was not long for this earth. My weight loss surgery truly saved my life.

For my readers who don't know the story, I went to Tijuana to have my procedure. I had the gastric sleeve surgery. About 80% of my stomach was removed. A normal stomach is about the size of a football. My new stomach is the size of a banana. There is a hunger hormone called ghrelin that is produced by the stomach. Since 80% of my stomach is gone, I therefore don't experience true hunger like I did pre-surgery. I do not feel I'm dieting or starving at all and even though I'm eating far less than what most people eat. The reason for this is that when the stomach is full it sends signals to the brain which are then interpreted as being satiated. So my new stomach does this as well but off of a very small portion of food. Pre-surgery I could eat an entire large pizza, salad, order of bread sticks, and dessert as one meal. Post-surgery I can eat one slice of pizza and may not even be able to eat the entire slice, depending upon how thick the crust is!

I decided to go out of the country because in my area the surgery runs around 20k and is usually not covered by insurance. I researched it for a year before my surgery and chose my surgeon in Tijuana and paid $4,500 for the surgery.

So let me give a break down of my stats:

Highest Recorded Weight: 388 lbs (There were times I was over 400. I believe 412 was the highest I have ever been. However, at the time that I chose to have the surgery I was 388 lbs.)
Weight On Day Of Surgery: 350 lbs
Current Weight: 174 lbs
Former Shirt Size: 4XL
Current Shirt Size: Medium
Former Pant Size: 48
Current Pant Size: 32
Former BMI: 52.6 (Morbid Obesity)
Current BMI: 23.6 (Normal Weight)
Total Weight Loss: 214 lbs

The goal weight I set for myself is 170 lbs. A couple of months ago I got down to 171 lbs and was so very close to achieving my goal weight. However, I messed up and started eating garbage again. I ended up gaining 3 lbs. I'm now back on track.

Another error I made was I stopped focusing on protein. I'm supposed to get 60-80 grams of protein a day. Well, when I was eating crap there were days where I didn't get any protein. My average for months was probably around 20 grams of protein a day. As a result of my mistake I began to shed hair. So my hair is thinning. I've returned back to the protein so hopefully I will be able to reverse this. If you don't get enough protein your hair and nails will suffer.

Since my surgery I've had several people tell me that I was the inspiration for them looking into or deciding to get the same or a similar surgery as well. I am very pleased that I've been an inspiration to people. If any of my readers are in a similar situation to me, facing morbid obesity, then I would strongly recommend you look into getting the surgery. It will literally change your life in ways you never even dreamed possible.

Psychologically, I'm still adapting to the changes. I still have some issues with accepting the new me. I still have a bit of body dysmorphia, meaning that I still perceive myself to be the same fat person I was before surgery. I also have some issues with women and men being sexually attracted to me. I didn't get anywhere near the level of attention I now get from people and I feel I can be too awkward when hit on. Hopefully in time I will adapt and be able to embrace the new me and live my life to the fullest.

I have not yet had plastic surgery to remove the excess skin. I do have excess skin, mainly on my stomach, some on the chest, and some on the thighs. I will be honest to admit that I dread the surgery because unlike the weight loss surgery, plastic surgery is a very invasive surgery and can take a few months to heal. However, I know that to complete this metamorphosis that I will have to suck it up, invoke courage, and see this journey through.

My only regret is that I did not have the surgery sooner. I'm also a bit ticked off. This surgery has been around since the 1980s but really wasn't used on morbidly obese people until around 2007. If I would have had this surgery in my teens or 20s then my life would have been a lot better, in my opinion.

My Before Pictures:

Passport Photo - March 2015

December 2014

I'm the blob behind the boy.

Day of Surgery - May 13, 2015

My After Pictures:

So I will end with this. Do not let fear prevent you from being the person you were meant to be! Be courageous and dare to embrace change. 

Related blog entries:

For those who are curious about just how much I can eat after surgery, here are two pictures of a standard-size bowl of Frito pie. I can eat about half of a bowl of food at one time. 

Before Eating


If I continue to eat past the point of being full I will vomit. So I quickly learned to stop eating as soon as I felt full. Again, I do not feel true hunger, nor do I feel that I'm depriving myself. This tiny amount of food produces the same sensation in me as if I just got through eating Thanksgiving dinner. So I feel completely satiated. I do not cheat or try to eat every couple of hours. I eat 3 meals a day and some days I eat some snacks as well. I can even eat fast food. I can eat a McDonald's cheeseburger in one sitting (either no fries or just a few), 1-2 tacos (depending upon how long it's been since I've last eaten), and one slice of pizza (depending upon size of crust). I can eat a ton of salad and stuff like chips, crackers, and popcorn. These types of food are called "slider foods", because they literally slide right on through your stomach, meaning you can eat a very large portion. I've been able to eat a large bucket of popcorn at the movies, for example. Of course, these "slider foods" are no-nos and can cause weight gain if not kept in check.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Beginners Guide To Sex Magic

Sex magic....what is it?

I know the first time I heard of sex magic I automatically entertained thoughts and visualizations of naked bodies of both sexes undulating and penetrating orifices indiscriminately. I guess that's just my dirty mind at work. In reality, sex magic is a very primitive and powerful way of raising energy in order to manifest your desires. The purpose of this blog entry will be to explain the very basics for would-be practitioners.

Sex magic can be practiced alone or with a partner. Beginners should start off doing it alone and then move toward practicing with a partner who is comfortable with such and is willing to aid you in your endeavor. The following is just a guide for newbies. Feel free to reject anything that you personally don't feel comfortable doing or anything that you feel is not applicable or right for your situation.

1. Define the goal, purpose, or clarify the desire. You need to know what it is you want to manifest prior to performing sex magic.

2. Cleanse the area. I like to perform a simple cleansing of the area in which sex magic will be performed. Smudging and burning incense are good, simple ways of achieving such.

3. Cleanse yourself. Take a spiritual bath or perform a simple cleansing on yourself to wipe away any negative energies that you may have picked up over the course of your daily life.

4. Set the mood/atmosphere. Dim the lights or light candles. Burn incense if you prefer. If you do not live alone then make sure the doors are locked or that you have privacy. If you would like to have soft music playing in the background then such is fine. Just make sure it isn't too loud or isn't of the type that may cause you to break your focus or concentration. Classical music may be best. Any music that inspires eroticism would be good. Probably not wise to play your favorite hits lest you start singing along or really getting into the song instead of your magic. If you are burning candles then you can go ahead and fix candles for your magical purpose, such as using proper color, marked/carved, and dressed with proper corresponding condition oil. Otherwise, you can just burn any candle of any color. Your incense can also be chosen by purpose as well or just use whatever incense your prefer.

5. Wear whatever attire you prefer or nothing at all. It all depends on what turns you on. If you feel that a certain article of clothing or even color of clothing feels good on your body or stimulates your passion and power, then by all means wear it. Otherwise get butt naked!

6. Begin masturbating. Start of slow and build to a climax but do not allow yourself to actually climax. For men, this is called "edging". You can begin your self-stimulation in the normal means but make sure that you ultimately reach the point of full body stimulation. Women are just naturally better at achieving this because society permits women to be sensual. Unfortunately, society tends to label male sensuality as being "too feminine" or relating it to homosexuality. Since men tend to focus on the genitals its important for men to explore and stimulate their entire body. Embrace your sensual side. Rub and caress your skin. Stimulate areas you may have not even considered touching before during masturbation, such as your feet, arm pits, back, etc. A full body experience is needed. It is also important for this that you do not keep track of time. You need to lose yourself in your ecstasy. Repeatedly allow your pleasure to build to the point of climax/ejaculation but do not allow your self to achieve such. Hold off and start slow again and build until your reach the same level of stimulation. While doing this you will visualize what it is you would manifest into reality, specifically the end result. So for example, if I wanted to have sex with a particular woman then I would visualize having sex with this woman. I would not visualize how this all came about and what would lead us to sleeping together. That part is out of my hands. Only focus on the end result.

7. When you do finally climax/ejaculate/orgasm it should be extremely powerful and should come during a moment of exceptionally clear visualization of the desire that is to be manifested. Now, 9 times out of 10 this will go smoothly. You can then bask in the afterglow and go to sleep if you want. I prefer to go to sleep as I feel that this pushes the desire deeper down into the subconscious mind. I also feel that it gives a better closure to the ritual. If you prefer not to got to sleep then you can then get up and quietly clean up and then move on with your day to day life as normal.

Now, I've read online that one shouldn't use sex magic in matters of love. For example, some would say not to use sex magic to draw a specific person to you because it will not work on them but it would cause you to grow obsessed with such person. I can see this logic but don't necessarily agree with it entirely. I believe that if the person you would like to take as your lover has given you signs that they are mutually attracted to you then you should totally use this method. However, if this is a stranger who doesn't even know you exist then you probably aren't going to see good results with this method simply because most people don't just jump into bed with complete strangers. Sure, you might get lucky every now an then but in the long run it's not going to be a good tactic or technique. Now, if you are using sex magic to reconcile or draw back a lover, or to even influence a lover, then you should be perfectly okay using this method.

Another thing readers should be aware is that sexual fluids gathered from a sex magic rite are extremely powerful. You can use such to dress candles, amulets or talismans, mojo bags, etc., and especially if you are doing other forms of magic to back up your sex magic.

Just remember that sex magic can be used for anything. It's not just good for love or romance. It's a tool or technique that can be used to achieve and manifest your desires.

If you chose to perform sex magic with a partner or even group of people then please be aware that you will need to trust your partner(s) as having the same desire or outcome. For example, if your partner has voiced their opinion and it is contrary to your desire then I would not recommend you work with them in a sex magic rite because their energy is going to counter-act your own. It's best to have a partner who either holds the same desire as yourself or at least is of an opinion that is not against the manifestation of your desire. If you prefer, your partner can be kept in the dark as to the purpose of the rite. This way the partner will act to help build sexual energy while not actively working to manifest it.

Certain individuals, such as Aliester Crowley, advocated that same-sex partners produced the most powerful sex magic. I believe this stems from homosexuality being "forbidden". It's up to you on whether or not you chose to accept this as part of your reality. I would venture to state that if you have same-sex sexual desires that you have not acted on before then perhaps it could be a very powerful experience for you as you would be tapping into something you haven't tried before. However, if you have a natural repulsion to such then I fear any same-sex rite could be detrimental toward the manifestation of your desires. Know yourself and your limits.

My Favorite Hunger Episodes

The Hunger was a horror anthology series that aired on Showtime from 1997 through 2000. The second season was hosted by David Bowie. The series dealt with many paranormal and supernatural themes, usually involving human desires and the consequences of such. Below are some of my favorite episodes from the series. Word of warning, many of these episodes contain nudity and adult situations.

Bridal Suite - When couples check in to a bed and breakfast the husband often disappears.

The Face of Helene Bournouw - A string of remarkable individuals kill themselves after meeting an extremely seductive woman.

Clarimonde - A new priest has his faith tested by a beautiful seductress who is not what she appears to be.

Nunc Dimittis - A dying man finds a male prostitute to take his place serving a very special princess.

Week Woman - A man marries a lesbian to avoid being deported. He soon discovers a secret about her, one that transforms her into his ideal mate.

The Diarist - This is my favorite episode of the series. A young witch is frustrated by the failures of her curses cast against the lover who left her for another woman.

Bottle of Smoke - A woman finds a djinn in a bottle. Instead of granting wishes it can fulfill all of her sexual desires as long as she remembers never to break a very important rule.

Brass - A man inherits a strange brass bed from his occultist father.

The Seductress - An older woman breaks off the sexual relationship she is having with a teenage boy leading to unforeseen supernatural repercussions.


I don't give free readings. I don't give free "spot checks" for your issues. I don't give a free diagnosis to determine if you are crossed up or cursed or if someone is working on you as well as determining the identity of said person. I won't call you for free and will not even consider doing any free work for you if you situation is not an emergency. I won't do any of these things because my time is valuable and you are not entitled to any free shit. Please don't waste my time by emailing me with your sob stories as to why you think you are unique and deserve special treatment.

You can pay to get a reading if you want a reading.

You can pay to get a reading to determine if you are crossed up or cursed.

You can pay to get a reading to possibly determine the identity of the person who is working against you.

You can pay me to perform conjure work for your non-emergency situation.

You can pay me for conjure coaching to learn how to do things for yourself.

Unfortunately, my life has been extremely hectic for the past few months and I'm frankly sick of opening my email and seeing dozens of emails from people who claim to read my blog but who think that they are entitled to free stuff. For instance, I opened two emails today from people who typed something similar to "I need to speak to you immediately about my situation", followed with a phone number, as if I would just pick up the phone and call you and spend an hour or more talking to you for free.

I give free consultations by email only. A free consultation is not the same thing as a free reading. Just like if you got a free consultation with an attorney he or she would not bust out the tarot cards or crystal ball but instead would talk to you about your case. Well, that's what a consultation is, discussing your case/situation.

I also got an email today from a woman who felt like she was entitled for me to give her a free reading to determine if she was cursed as well as tell her who did it. When I responded to her that I don't give free readings she responded rudely back as if it was a crime to ask to be compensated for your time and gifts. If people only knew what bull shit workers have to put up with. LOL